My name is Thomas Hayden Kerans, but I go by "Haytham" since I was guided to Islam. I am a 19 year old caucasian American that lives in Texas. I converted almost a year ago, alhamdulillah for such a blessing! I was 18 years old. I shall begin my story.
It all started... well.. at birth! My
entire life is a revert story.
I was born on the 20th of December, year 2000. Being born into a very Christian Baptist family, going to church every Wednesday and Sunday was a regular routine. As the years went on, questions about what I was taught to believe arised in my little head. I remember fondly a car ride in which my mother was driving, and me and my friend were sat in the back seat. I was playing with a stamp of Noahs ark (AS). As I played with it, I started thinking about some questions to ask my beloved mother. I asked a question along the lines of, "Mommy, how can Jesus (AS) be both human and God?". Her reply was along the lines of "Youll understand that when youre older sweetie.". I accepted her response. As I got older, I still never knew the answer to my question and quite frankly, neither did my mom. The typical reply is "Hes God, He can do anything he wants even if it doesnt make sense.". This kind of thinking would not prove satisfactory to me maintaining a stable level of faith throughout my teen years.
My early teenage years was a series of up-down-left-right in terms of where I would place my beliefs. I was Christian, Atheist, New-Age-Spiritualist, Christian, Agnostic, then finally Christian. Prior to me becoming Christian again, I had been diagnosed with Lymes Disease and Mononucleosis 2 years prior. During those 2 years I would most of the time sit in my bed and watch YouTube, movies, play videogames etc. One day when I was 18, I had a dream at night that came true! This dream rekindled my belief in the supernatural and made me realize how important religion is. I was also very lonely. All my friends from school had gone their own ways. The only thing I wanted at the time was to have friends. One day, I became very depressed. I decided to confide in God Almighty. My idea was that since I needed friends, what better friend to have than God Almighty?! This is when I officially dedicated myself to Christianity for the rest of my life.
About 2-3 months went by and I had gained loads of knowledge about the faith. In my case, the more knowledge I gained, the more and more doubts I had about Christianity and the bible.
One day shortly after that, I contacted my friend Isa Ahsan to see how he was doing. I love Isa like hes my blood brother. Anyways, he had become a Muslim 3 years prior to me at the time. I asked him why he believes in Islam and told him to prove to me the bible is false. We discussed this on many occasions for about a month then one day I went to the masjid with Isa. I took my shahada but I hadnt really absorbed the reality of the words in my heart. Nor did I feel that Christianity was proven wrong to me so a day after that I became Christian again. Becoming Christian again lasted for about 3 months.
Towards the end of those 3 months, the doubts I had about Christianity was making me go insane. My search for truth put me in many panic attacks. I was suspended in a sea of nonsense in a Boat with no wind or paddle. Finally, I kneeled down in my room and made duaa saying "God, please guide me to the truth and nothing but the truth even if it means staying a Christian or becoming whatever else. Amen". I was so confused that I finally just put it in the hands of Allah ﷻ. I was then exposed to Bart Ehrman. Watching all of his lectures and debates made me reject the bible. I also saw the numerous prophecies about Muhammad ﷺ in the bible, and I was absolutely amazed at the embryological miracles within the Quran. But most of all, it was as if all the doubts I had in Christianity were addressed in the Quran. Once they were, I recognized the miracle which is the Quran and took my shahadah being fully convinced that Islam is the truth. Allahu Akbar!
JazakhAllah Khair
My name is Thomas Hayden Kerans, but I go by "Haytham" since I was guided to Islam. I am a 19 year old caucasian American that lives in Texas. I converted almost a year ago, alhamdulillah for such a blessing! I was 18 years old. I shall begin my story.
It all started... well.. at birth! My
entire life is a revert story.
I was born on the 20th of December, year 2000. Being born into a very Christian Baptist family, going to church every Wednesday and Sunday was a regular routine. As the years went on, questions about what I was taught to believe arised in my little head. I remember fondly a car ride in which my mother was driving, and me and my friend were sat in the back seat. I was playing with a stamp of Noah's ark (AS). As I played with it, I started thinking about some questions to ask my beloved mother. I asked a question along the lines of, "Mommy, how can Jesus (AS) be both human and God?". Her reply was along the lines of "You'll understand that when you're older sweetie.". I accepted her response. As I got older, I still never knew the answer to my question and quite frankly, neither did my mom. The typical reply is "He's God, He can do anything he wants even if it doesn't make sense.". This kind of thinking would not prove satisfactory to me maintaining a stable level of faith throughout my teen years.
My early teenage years was a series of up-down-left-right in terms of where I would place my beliefs. I was Christian, Atheist, New-Age-Spiritualist, Christian, Agnostic, then finally Christian. Prior to me becoming Christian again, I had been diagnosed with Lymes Disease and Mononucleosis 2 years prior. During those 2 years I would most of the time sit in my bed and watch YouTube, movies, play videogames etc. One day when I was 18, I had a dream at night that came true! This dream rekindled my belief in the supernatural and made me realize how important religion is. I was also very lonely. All my friends from school had gone their own ways. The only thing I wanted at the time was to have friends. One day, I became very depressed. I decided to confide in God Almighty. My idea was that since I needed friends, what better friend to have than God Almighty?! This is when I officially dedicated myself to Christianity for the rest of my life.
About 2-3 months went by and I had gained loads of knowledge about the faith. In my case, the more knowledge I gained, the more and more doubts I had about Christianity and the bible.
One day shortly after that, I contacted my friend Isa Ahsan to see how he was doing. I love Isa like he's my blood brother. Anyways, he had become a Muslim 3 years prior to me at the time. I asked him why he believes in Islam and told him to prove to me the bible is false. We discussed this on many occasions for about a month then one day I went to the masjid with Isa. I took my shahada but I hadn't really absorbed the reality of the words in my heart. Nor did I feel that Christianity was proven wrong to me so a day after that I became Christian again. Becoming Christian again lasted for about 3 months.
Towards the end of those 3 months, the doubts I had about Christianity was making me go insane. My search for truth put me in many panic attacks. I was suspended in a sea of nonsense in a Boat with no wind or paddle. Finally, I kneeled down in my room and made duaa saying "God, please guide me to the truth and nothing but the truth even if it means staying a Christian or becoming whatever else. Amen". I was so confused that I finally just put it in the hands of Allah ﷻ. I was then exposed to Bart Ehrman. Watching all of his lectures and debates made me reject the bible. I also saw the numerous prophecies about Muhammad ﷺ in the bible, and I was absolutely amazed at the embryological miracles within the Qur'an. But most of all, it was as if all the doubts I had in Christianity were addressed in the Qur'an. Once they were, I recognized the miracle which is the Qur'an and took my shahadah being fully convinced that Islam is the truth. Allahu Akbar!
JazakhAllah Khair
