• A friend of mine from Pakistan who got admission in PHD got denied her United States visa, what should she be doing ?
    A friend of mine from Pakistan who got admission in PHD got denied her United States visa, what should she be doing ?
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  • The millatry industrial complex :(

    WORLD NEWS
    Pakistani Leader Sharif Nears Pact With Military
    Army Presses Sharif to Relinquish Control of Security Affairs, Foreign Policy
    ISLAMABAD—The Pakistani military is close to an agreement with the government in which the prime minister would relinquish control of security affairs and strategic foreign policy, government officials said, amid antigovernment protests that have paralyzed the capital.
    A nearly two-week confrontation between the administration and demonstrators, which the government believes are backed by the military, has put Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif under pressure.
    Government aides said the military has seized on Mr. Sharifs weakened status during the political crisis to strike a deal in which he would leave strategic policy areas—including relations with the U.S., Afghanistan and India—to be controlled by the armed forces.
    The military is now seeking guarantees from the prime minister that he will follow through on the agreement, the aides said. Spokesmen for Mr. Sharif and several government ministries didnt return calls seeking comment. A Pakistani military spokesman didnt respond to requests to comment.
    Since winning an outright majority in Parliament 16 months ago, Mr. Sharif has angered the military establishment with efforts to assert civilian control of the armed forces and decide on policies that were traditionally the domain of the military. The deal with the military would sharply curtail Mr. Sharifs powers, and cast doubt on his ability to make peace with Pakistans rival, India, a top priority for the prime minister.
    "If Nawaz Sharif survives, for the rest of his term, he will be a ceremonial prime minister—the world will not take him seriously," said Ayesha Siddiqa, an analyst based in Islamabad. "A soft coup has already taken place. The question is whether it will harden."
    Thousands of protesters arrived on Aug. 15 in Islamabad, led by Imran Khan, a politician and former cricket star, and Muslim cleric Tahir ul Qadri, demanding the prime ministers resignation. The activists have slept on the streets of the capital since, protesters moving last week in front of the Parliament.

    The armed forces have run Pakistan for half its 67-year history, including a 1999 coup led by then-army chief Pervez Musharraf, which ended Mr. Sharifs last stint as prime minister. Even when not formally in power, the military has traditionally run foreign and internal security policies.
    Government aides said the military has extracted a promise of freedom for Mr. Musharraf, who is being prosecuted by Mr. Sharifs government for treason. That charge, related to Mr. Musharrafs military rule following the 1999 coup, is another major source of tension between the administration and the armed forces. Mr. Musharraf denies the treason charge.
    According to political and security officials, Mr. Sharifs government had secretly agreed to let Mr. Musharraf go abroad after a symbolic indictment over treason, which took place in March, but the government went back on the deal. That eroded trust between the military and Mr. Sharif.
    Government aides said the administration was also willing to let the prime ministers brother, Shahbaz Sharif, step down as chief minister of Punjab province, the countrys most heavily populated region.
    Democracy was restored in Pakistan in 2008, when a government led by Asif Zardari of the Pakistan Peoples Party was elected and ruled until last years elections. Mr. Zardaris government, a weak coalition, had also in its early days tried to push its own foreign and security policies, but it was soon beaten back.
    "Nawaz Sharif thought that he was no Asif Zardari," said Murtaza Solangi, an analyst who had served as head of Radio Pakistan, the state broadcaster, under the Zardari government. "But the military decided that theyll make him an Asif Zardari."
    Mr. Sharifs election victory had also raised hopes of a shift in policy toward Afghanistan and India. Mr. Sharif offered India a trade liberalization deal, and pledged to Kabul that he would end Pakistans interference in Afghanistan.
    But Mr. Sharifs stated aim of making peace with India and the pace at which he started to pursue this goal—seen in Washington as a historic opportunity— riled the military establishment. Mr. Sharifs policy of holding extended peace talks with Pakistani Taliban militants held up the armys plans for an operation against them, sowing further misgivings about the government.
    A government aide said that the personal political ambitions of the protest leaders had been encouraged by a military that wanted to "cut Nawaz Sharif down to size."
    "The script was never to topple the government but weaken it to the point where it was just left hanging, unable to move," said the aide.
    Mr. Khan has called for a government of "technocrats" to be brought in now, but denied that he is acting on behalf of the military.
    "Im doing this for Pakistan, not for myself," Mr. Khan told supporters in a speech Wednesday. "To save our democracy, Im not going from here without Nawaz Sharifs resignation."
    Washington last week put out a statement of support for the administration, saying: "We support the constitutional and electoral process in Pakistan, which produced the Prime Minister of Nawaz Sharif."
    The millatry industrial complex :( WORLD NEWS Pakistani Leader Sharif Nears Pact With Military Army Presses Sharif to Relinquish Control of Security Affairs, Foreign Policy ISLAMABAD—The Pakistani military is close to an agreement with the government in which the prime minister would relinquish control of security affairs and strategic foreign policy, government officials said, amid antigovernment protests that have paralyzed the capital. A nearly two-week confrontation between the administration and demonstrators, which the government believes are backed by the military, has put Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif under pressure. Government aides said the military has seized on Mr. Sharif's weakened status during the political crisis to strike a deal in which he would leave strategic policy areas—including relations with the U.S., Afghanistan and India—to be controlled by the armed forces. The military is now seeking guarantees from the prime minister that he will follow through on the agreement, the aides said. Spokesmen for Mr. Sharif and several government ministries didn't return calls seeking comment. A Pakistani military spokesman didn't respond to requests to comment. Since winning an outright majority in Parliament 16 months ago, Mr. Sharif has angered the military establishment with efforts to assert civilian control of the armed forces and decide on policies that were traditionally the domain of the military. The deal with the military would sharply curtail Mr. Sharif's powers, and cast doubt on his ability to make peace with Pakistan's rival, India, a top priority for the prime minister. "If Nawaz Sharif survives, for the rest of his term, he will be a ceremonial prime minister—the world will not take him seriously," said Ayesha Siddiqa, an analyst based in Islamabad. "A soft coup has already taken place. The question is whether it will harden." Thousands of protesters arrived on Aug. 15 in Islamabad, led by Imran Khan, a politician and former cricket star, and Muslim cleric Tahir ul Qadri, demanding the prime minister's resignation. The activists have slept on the streets of the capital since, protesters moving last week in front of the Parliament. The armed forces have run Pakistan for half its 67-year history, including a 1999 coup led by then-army chief Pervez Musharraf, which ended Mr. Sharif's last stint as prime minister. Even when not formally in power, the military has traditionally run foreign and internal security policies. Government aides said the military has extracted a promise of freedom for Mr. Musharraf, who is being prosecuted by Mr. Sharif's government for treason. That charge, related to Mr. Musharraf's military rule following the 1999 coup, is another major source of tension between the administration and the armed forces. Mr. Musharraf denies the treason charge. According to political and security officials, Mr. Sharif's government had secretly agreed to let Mr. Musharraf go abroad after a symbolic indictment over treason, which took place in March, but the government went back on the deal. That eroded trust between the military and Mr. Sharif. Government aides said the administration was also willing to let the prime minister's brother, Shahbaz Sharif, step down as chief minister of Punjab province, the country's most heavily populated region. Democracy was restored in Pakistan in 2008, when a government led by Asif Zardari of the Pakistan Peoples Party was elected and ruled until last year's elections. Mr. Zardari's government, a weak coalition, had also in its early days tried to push its own foreign and security policies, but it was soon beaten back. "Nawaz Sharif thought that he was no Asif Zardari," said Murtaza Solangi, an analyst who had served as head of Radio Pakistan, the state broadcaster, under the Zardari government. "But the military decided that they'll make him an Asif Zardari." Mr. Sharif's election victory had also raised hopes of a shift in policy toward Afghanistan and India. Mr. Sharif offered India a trade liberalization deal, and pledged to Kabul that he would end Pakistan's interference in Afghanistan. But Mr. Sharif's stated aim of making peace with India and the pace at which he started to pursue this goal—seen in Washington as a historic opportunity— riled the military establishment. Mr. Sharif's policy of holding extended peace talks with Pakistani Taliban militants held up the army's plans for an operation against them, sowing further misgivings about the government. A government aide said that the personal political ambitions of the protest leaders had been encouraged by a military that wanted to "cut Nawaz Sharif down to size." "The script was never to topple the government but weaken it to the point where it was just left hanging, unable to move," said the aide. Mr. Khan has called for a government of "technocrats" to be brought in now, but denied that he is acting on behalf of the military. "I'm doing this for Pakistan, not for myself," Mr. Khan told supporters in a speech Wednesday. "To save our democracy, I'm not going from here without Nawaz Sharif's resignation." Washington last week put out a statement of support for the administration, saying: "We support the constitutional and electoral process in Pakistan, which produced the Prime Minister of Nawaz Sharif."
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  • The brain responds all the time according to its conditioning, according to various forms of stimuli: it is always active. The brain is the response of time, of memory; in the brain the whole past is contained. If the brain can hold itself and not respond immediately, then there is a possibility of a new response. The brain operates in the old habits established by the culture we live in, by the past racial inheritance and so on; that responds all the time, to any stimulus - judging, evaluating, believing, not believing, discussing, protecting, denying and so on. The brain cannot be denied its past knowledge; it must have that, otherwise it cant function. So I am asking whether that brain - which is the old - will allow itself to be quiet so that a new part can operate. When you flatter me, the old brain says, "How lovely." But can the old brain listen to what you say and not respond, so that perhaps a new movement can take place? That new movement can only take place when there is silence, when the machinery is not operating in terms of the past. Is that clear - clear in the sense of watching yourself, otherwise it is no fun? I am not explaining this for myself, we are working together.
    I find, when one examines ones activities, that the old brain is always responding according to its limited knowledge, to its tradition, its racial inheritance, and when that is operating nothing new can come about. Now I want to find out whether that old brain can be quiet so that a new movement can take place. I can do that when I am with another, watching the old brain in operation, and when it understands the truth that it must be quiet in order that a new operation can take place.

    #mind
    #understandingmind
    The brain responds all the time according to its conditioning, according to various forms of stimuli: it is always active. The brain is the response of time, of memory; in the brain the whole past is contained. If the brain can hold itself and not respond immediately, then there is a possibility of a new response. The brain operates in the old habits established by the culture we live in, by the past racial inheritance and so on; that responds all the time, to any stimulus - judging, evaluating, believing, not believing, discussing, protecting, denying and so on. The brain cannot be denied its past knowledge; it must have that, otherwise it can't function. So I am asking whether that brain - which is the old - will allow itself to be quiet so that a new part can operate. When you flatter me, the old brain says, "How lovely." But can the old brain listen to what you say and not respond, so that perhaps a new movement can take place? That new movement can only take place when there is silence, when the machinery is not operating in terms of the past. Is that clear - clear in the sense of watching yourself, otherwise it is no fun? I am not explaining this for myself, we are working together. I find, when one examines one's activities, that the old brain is always responding according to its limited knowledge, to its tradition, its racial inheritance, and when that is operating nothing new can come about. Now I want to find out whether that old brain can be quiet so that a new movement can take place. I can do that when I am with another, watching the old brain in operation, and when it understands the truth that it must be quiet in order that a new operation can take place. #mind #understandingmind
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  • My country right or wrong
    A lot of emotional rage and demand for revenge is being whipped up by the Indian media and some others over the killing and mutiliation of two Indian soldiers, allegedly by the Pakistani army, a charge which the Pakistan Govt. has denied.
    What is the truth ? I doubt we will ever know. But what is evident is that the Indian media regularly demonizes Pakistanis, just as the Pakistani media regularly demonizes Indians, and most people, being emotional and not rational, are carried away by this propaganda, which is obviously for benefiting some vested interests.
    But I refuse to belong to this category, even if I am in the minority of one. I refuse to say " my country right or wrong ", firstly because it means supporting ones country or its govt. even if it is doing wrong ( the way most Germans supported Hitler at one time ).

    by Markandey Katju
    My country right or wrong A lot of emotional rage and demand for revenge is being whipped up by the Indian media and some others over the killing and mutiliation of two Indian soldiers, allegedly by the Pakistani army, a charge which the Pakistan Govt. has denied. What is the truth ? I doubt we will ever know. But what is evident is that the Indian media regularly demonizes Pakistanis, just as the Pakistani media regularly demonizes Indians, and most people, being emotional and not rational, are carried away by this propaganda, which is obviously for benefiting some vested interests. But I refuse to belong to this category, even if I am in the minority of one. I refuse to say " my country right or wrong ", firstly because it means supporting one's country or its govt. even if it is doing wrong ( the way most Germans supported Hitler at one time ). by Markandey Katju
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  • 1932 Albert Einstein was denied United States visa
    1932 Albert Einstein was denied United States visa 🙂
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  • Wake Up, Pakistan — The Future Won’t Wait

    Pakistan has been, by design, kept uneducated.
    We were denied timely access to technology. We were late to get the Internet. We were never trained to use the tools that the rest of the world was mastering — and now, we stand 25 years behind.

    But here’s the truth: keeping technology away from people only delays the inevitable. The world is moving forward — faster than ever — and no one can stop it.

    By 2050, the Internet will be everywhere through satellites. Phones will be in every hand. Artificial intelligence will be used by everyone. Knowledge, information, and facts will be universally available — to rich and poor alike.

    And when that happens, humanity will not be the same species it is today.
    Right now, the human race is a manipulated creature — our biology and beliefs are shaped by the information systems we grew up in: national narratives, cultural silos, and controlled media.

    But 25 years from now, those walls will collapse.
    The next generation will have access to all human knowledge instantly.
    The world will be unrecognizable — and those who believe the future will look like the past are trying, consciously or not, to stop human progress.

    So the question is: how do we break free?

    The answer is already in your hand — your mobile phone.
    You hold the most powerful tool in human history, yet most people use it only to react — not to think.

    We scroll, we argue, we absorb political noise — but we rarely question.
    Our minds have been biologically trained to react instead of act.
    We’ve been kept in a mental sleep through constant emotional manipulation — news that gives us false doses of serotonin and oxytocin, keeping us distracted and divided.

    But there’s a way out — and that way is awareness powered by AI.

    For the first time in human history, every PhD thesis, every scientific discovery, every fact and formula is accessible to every human being, every second, for free.

    So, my friends — I beg you, I request you — wake up.
    Stop using your phone just to consume.
    Start using ChatGPT — your AI partner — to think, plan, learn, and grow.

    Use it to fact-check.
    Use it to learn something new.
    Use it to write, to reflect, to plan your life, to understand your world.

    Because from this moment on, the only thing separating the enlightened from the ignorant is how often they use AI.

    So here’s your call to action:
    Use ChatGPT at least 10 times a day — for everything.
    Ask it every question that comes to your mind.
    Let it become your teacher, your mirror, your coach, your thinking partner.

    We can’t fix 75 years of delay overnight — but we can start right now.
    And if every Pakistani learns to use AI intelligently, we will no longer be 25 years behind — we will be 25 years ahead.

    So, are you ready to wake up?
    To think for yourself?
    To teach others to think?

    Because the revolution won’t come from governments or schools —
    it will come from people who learned how to ask better questions.

    Start today.
    Open ChatGPT.
    Ask your first question.
    Then do it again — 10 times a day.

    The future belongs to those who use it.

    — Rehan Allahwala
    Wake Up, Pakistan — The Future Won’t Wait Pakistan has been, by design, kept uneducated. We were denied timely access to technology. We were late to get the Internet. We were never trained to use the tools that the rest of the world was mastering — and now, we stand 25 years behind. But here’s the truth: keeping technology away from people only delays the inevitable. The world is moving forward — faster than ever — and no one can stop it. By 2050, the Internet will be everywhere through satellites. Phones will be in every hand. Artificial intelligence will be used by everyone. Knowledge, information, and facts will be universally available — to rich and poor alike. And when that happens, humanity will not be the same species it is today. Right now, the human race is a manipulated creature — our biology and beliefs are shaped by the information systems we grew up in: national narratives, cultural silos, and controlled media. But 25 years from now, those walls will collapse. The next generation will have access to all human knowledge instantly. The world will be unrecognizable — and those who believe the future will look like the past are trying, consciously or not, to stop human progress. So the question is: how do we break free? The answer is already in your hand — your mobile phone. You hold the most powerful tool in human history, yet most people use it only to react — not to think. We scroll, we argue, we absorb political noise — but we rarely question. Our minds have been biologically trained to react instead of act. We’ve been kept in a mental sleep through constant emotional manipulation — news that gives us false doses of serotonin and oxytocin, keeping us distracted and divided. But there’s a way out — and that way is awareness powered by AI. For the first time in human history, every PhD thesis, every scientific discovery, every fact and formula is accessible to every human being, every second, for free. So, my friends — I beg you, I request you — wake up. Stop using your phone just to consume. Start using ChatGPT — your AI partner — to think, plan, learn, and grow. Use it to fact-check. Use it to learn something new. Use it to write, to reflect, to plan your life, to understand your world. Because from this moment on, the only thing separating the enlightened from the ignorant is how often they use AI. So here’s your call to action: 👉 Use ChatGPT at least 10 times a day — for everything. Ask it every question that comes to your mind. Let it become your teacher, your mirror, your coach, your thinking partner. We can’t fix 75 years of delay overnight — but we can start right now. And if every Pakistani learns to use AI intelligently, we will no longer be 25 years behind — we will be 25 years ahead. So, are you ready to wake up? To think for yourself? To teach others to think? Because the revolution won’t come from governments or schools — it will come from people who learned how to ask better questions. Start today. Open ChatGPT. Ask your first question. Then do it again — 10 times a day. The future belongs to those who use it. — Rehan Allahwala
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  • Charles Darwin never denied god !
    Charles Darwin never denied god !
    0 تبصرے 0 شیئرز 200 ویوز 0
  • Charles Darwin never denied god !
    Charles Darwin never denied god !
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  • India denied my visa for the conference :) - Should they not tell WHY so we can CORRECT ourselves for next time ? - This is the 2nd denial
    India denied my visa for the conference :) - Should they not tell WHY so we can CORRECT ourselves for next time ? - This is the 2nd denial
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  • WOW Story of Sister Rubina Kauser Bashir

    If you do not find this amazing, and moving, the nothing is amazing !

    I am a revert Jennifer but in a strange way i shall explain i was born in an ignorant muslim family that forced culture upon me my marriage at sixteen was without my concent i got raped on first night as it was expected of me to have sex with my husband as i was innocent and niave and noone had ever been close to me i was scared and asked him if he loved me he did not answer so i told him no to stop i shall not go into detail. Anyway he controlled me every second of day and night i could not breath or think for myself i felt lost confused and did not even know my own identity i felt i was going insane as nothing pleased him. After having two children i was too depressed and he made me feel isolated and used to stop my meeting my family my friends. So i used to talk and spend time with his brother who was same age as me i grew close to him and felt we had a lot in common we laughed joked and teased each other but little did i realise that i was getting too attached to close to him... I am only human i fell in love but i was honest and told everyone i felt scared of husband so i wrote letter and left it in my coat in hallway as he used to check my pockets and everything. I was not a bad person i hated him so much i felt i was in prison and wanted to run away. Anyway cut long story short when all truth came out his brother denied it all so end of. My heart shattered and i was humiliated my parents actually beat me up. I used to believe this was all Islam. I had no knowledge of islam but only learrned what i experienced. So i left my two children not because i did not love them but i felt scared because my parents told me i was going to hell and i really feared ALLAH i did not want to be punished for the sin i commited so i left my children because my heart was clean i felt i was not evil but my parents made me feel evil and i did not even know that ALLAH was merciful and He forgives if you truly repent i left everyone behind i was suicidle and only19 by then. I thought ALLAH was evil ( sorry ALLAH) and i went searching for truth i met a non muslim man i will cut it short it ended after a year i never used the title " i am muslim" because everything i did was living like a rebell i went into bad company anyway i met some zionists people of illuminiti they told me everything they were planning and trusted me because i was not muslim. They told me they were planning to wage war agsinst islam by planting bombs and killing people and were going to conspire agsinst islam and blame muslims. I became fearful and scared at that moment i felt something hurting me inside it had woken up my faith i truly felt i had to save the muslims. I came back to my parents after two years in 1993 to be precise but i was placed in a mental hospital as i was very fearful feared for safety of my life as they the illuminiti realised i was muslim. The look of anger on their faces was really scary. So i began to learn about islam slowly and became closer to ALLAH. I got married again to my cousin and again was asked to marry my cousin from parents but i said no and they used ALLAH to say thst if i wanted ALLAH to forgive my sins and for showing them up ( as i became black sherp of family) if i wanted forgiveness then i should marry him. It took me a whole year to say ok. Again it was all agsinst islam as a woman has a choice and can decide for herself. There was a major risk i took to marrying my cousin and thst was thst he was previously married to my younger sister but she hated him and marriage was never constimated . Oooh the pain of being always second best and his looks towards her when we used to gather as a family it HURT i felt like i did not even exist for him. I became insecure as mum always praised her infront of my husband and also because she was very attractive and beautiful my heart was breaking as nothing could ever be good enough for him than her. She was a stunner and she knew it.we used to argue and he would get my mum involved and she would tell all my siblings that i was causing trouble for him and that i was jealoud of my sister so my sister slowly started to " regret" her decission to rejecting him and mum was making them twi get closer through respect and mutual understanding she felt special that after all she did to him he was still in love with her. Cutting long story short i was constsntly sent ti mental hospital because they used i was paranoid. And till this day i am still under mental health and labelled. But through my pain i was getting more closer to ALLAH and spiritual my love and understanding grew a lot for my religion. I decided it was best i wore hijaab as i could only change myself for what i was feeling and that i knew in my heart and understood thst people can get close and mistakes and emotions can get out of hand. What i expected for myself i started treated others with as i could not change anyone else but change my own self first. It is a long story i shall end here. A lot of people are involved in my marriage as i have become stronger in myself and feel
    More confidant but unfortunately the mental health nurse and social workers give support and sympathy to my husband as they give his ego a boost full of praise at how much he had coped with living with a mentally ill wife. But i have never been paranoid we have had marriage issues to lack of trust love and respect. But my mum and my husband have always had control over my life to have me sectioned for months on end.i know what has been going on behind my back the lies the dishonesty and the constant praise for him. I have tried leaving but the excuse had been used thst i have not been taking my medication. I am seen as a bad muslim an extemist because this is hoe my family have painted me as because everyone in my family is modern and do not practice islam. They have tried to
    Control me through thid system because it is only way they can stop me from leaving. But i tell my husband it is ironic that he shows me no support and constsntly complaining to the mental health nurses ( females for sympathy and suppory) that i am paranoid when i tell him i am leaving him but same time gets me locked up and this is how he stops me from leaving him. My family believe thst i control him because he convinces them only because he knows he is getting attention fromy beautiful sis always. I am praying and waiting patiently for my time to come when my Most Loving ALLAH decides to set me free. I do bot complain about ALLAH as i have felt nothing but peacr and live in getting to knoe my religion it is just painful the fact that i have never been accepted either in the past or now thst i am treated differenyly because of who i choose to be in hijaab.
    WOW Story of Sister Rubina Kauser Bashir If you do not find this amazing, and moving, the nothing is amazing ! I am a revert Jennifer but in a strange way i shall explain i was born in an ignorant muslim family that forced culture upon me my marriage at sixteen was without my concent i got raped on first night as it was expected of me to have sex with my husband as i was innocent and niave and noone had ever been close to me i was scared and asked him if he loved me he did not answer so i told him no to stop i shall not go into detail. Anyway he controlled me every second of day and night i could not breath or think for myself i felt lost confused and did not even know my own identity i felt i was going insane as nothing pleased him. After having two children i was too depressed and he made me feel isolated and used to stop my meeting my family my friends. So i used to talk and spend time with his brother who was same age as me i grew close to him and felt we had a lot in common we laughed joked and teased each other but little did i realise that i was getting too attached to close to him... I am only human i fell in love but i was honest and told everyone i felt scared of husband so i wrote letter and left it in my coat in hallway as he used to check my pockets and everything. I was not a bad person i hated him so much i felt i was in prison and wanted to run away. Anyway cut long story short when all truth came out his brother denied it all so end of. My heart shattered and i was humiliated my parents actually beat me up. I used to believe this was all Islam. I had no knowledge of islam but only learrned what i experienced. So i left my two children not because i did not love them but i felt scared because my parents told me i was going to hell and i really feared ALLAH i did not want to be punished for the sin i commited so i left my children because my heart was clean i felt i was not evil but my parents made me feel evil and i did not even know that ALLAH was merciful and He forgives if you truly repent i left everyone behind i was suicidle and only19 by then. I thought ALLAH was evil ( sorry ALLAH) and i went searching for truth i met a non muslim man i will cut it short it ended after a year i never used the title " i am muslim" because everything i did was living like a rebell i went into bad company anyway i met some zionists people of illuminiti they told me everything they were planning and trusted me because i was not muslim. They told me they were planning to wage war agsinst islam by planting bombs and killing people and were going to conspire agsinst islam and blame muslims. I became fearful and scared at that moment i felt something hurting me inside it had woken up my faith i truly felt i had to save the muslims. I came back to my parents after two years in 1993 to be precise but i was placed in a mental hospital as i was very fearful feared for safety of my life as they the illuminiti realised i was muslim. The look of anger on their faces was really scary. So i began to learn about islam slowly and became closer to ALLAH. I got married again to my cousin and again was asked to marry my cousin from parents but i said no and they used ALLAH to say thst if i wanted ALLAH to forgive my sins and for showing them up ( as i became black sherp of family) if i wanted forgiveness then i should marry him. It took me a whole year to say ok. Again it was all agsinst islam as a woman has a choice and can decide for herself. There was a major risk i took to marrying my cousin and thst was thst he was previously married to my younger sister but she hated him and marriage was never constimated . Oooh the pain of being always second best and his looks towards her when we used to gather as a family it HURT i felt like i did not even exist for him. I became insecure as mum always praised her infront of my husband and also because she was very attractive and beautiful my heart was breaking as nothing could ever be good enough for him than her. She was a stunner and she knew it.we used to argue and he would get my mum involved and she would tell all my siblings that i was causing trouble for him and that i was jealoud of my sister so my sister slowly started to " regret" her decission to rejecting him and mum was making them twi get closer through respect and mutual understanding she felt special that after all she did to him he was still in love with her. Cutting long story short i was constsntly sent ti mental hospital because they used i was paranoid. And till this day i am still under mental health and labelled. But through my pain i was getting more closer to ALLAH and spiritual my love and understanding grew a lot for my religion. I decided it was best i wore hijaab as i could only change myself for what i was feeling and that i knew in my heart and understood thst people can get close and mistakes and emotions can get out of hand. What i expected for myself i started treated others with as i could not change anyone else but change my own self first. It is a long story i shall end here. A lot of people are involved in my marriage as i have become stronger in myself and feel More confidant but unfortunately the mental health nurse and social workers give support and sympathy to my husband as they give his ego a boost full of praise at how much he had coped with living with a mentally ill wife. But i have never been paranoid we have had marriage issues to lack of trust love and respect. But my mum and my husband have always had control over my life to have me sectioned for months on end.i know what has been going on behind my back the lies the dishonesty and the constant praise for him. I have tried leaving but the excuse had been used thst i have not been taking my medication. I am seen as a bad muslim an extemist because this is hoe my family have painted me as because everyone in my family is modern and do not practice islam. They have tried to Control me through thid system because it is only way they can stop me from leaving. But i tell my husband it is ironic that he shows me no support and constsntly complaining to the mental health nurses ( females for sympathy and suppory) that i am paranoid when i tell him i am leaving him but same time gets me locked up and this is how he stops me from leaving him. My family believe thst i control him because he convinces them only because he knows he is getting attention fromy beautiful sis always. I am praying and waiting patiently for my time to come when my Most Loving ALLAH decides to set me free. I do bot complain about ALLAH as i have felt nothing but peacr and live in getting to knoe my religion it is just painful the fact that i have never been accepted either in the past or now thst i am treated differenyly because of who i choose to be in hijaab.
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